It occurred to me yesterday, as I was taking a solo hike in a forest overlooking the sea, that what I've taken away from my yoga practice can very well be applied to ANY practice. It also occurred to me, that as the year is coming to a close, many will resolve to start a yoga practice. If that is you, hooray! I have many students who came to classes in a January and are still around, practicing regularly, and I would venture to say that their lives are better for it. You want to know what is required to make your resolve more than a January fling? It is less about physical alignment and more about attitude adjustment. Here are some of the absolute non-negotiables that you'll need in order to build a lasting relationship to your practice:
1. Sincerity: if you come to a teacher and by extension to a practice, be sincere about wanting to learn. Often what we think we know gets in the way of deeper knowing. This goes for those of you who don't have a teacher and like me, practice at home. Every time you step on your mat, sit at your piano, or talk with your family on the phone,--whatever your practice may be at the moment--sincerely open to learning, to not knowing, to receiving. There is tremendous freedom in not knowing, and yes, when it comes to learning, you get extra points for enthusiasm.
2. Curiosity: don't lose it. The quickest way for your practice to become stale and take a backseat to everything else in your life is to lose your curiosity. If you get bored in your practice, the chances are you are not paying attention. How can you stay engaged? How can you find ways to want to know more? How can you practice presence when learning?
3. Consistency: You want results? Practice often and with consistency. Repeat what is really difficult for you. I took my first yoga class at 17, then didn't go back until 19. I went through periods of being really excited about practice that would last a few months, and then letting it slide because life got crazy. It wasn't until ten years later when I was desperate enough to be long-term consistent that I saw the effects of practice in my life and in my body.
Want more proof? I live with a musician. When he is learning a new tune, he will play it over and over and over for hours, day after day. How else would he learn it? If you are posturally-driven in your yoga practice, how do you expect to learn the fancy moves if you don't put in the effort? If you are spiritually-motivated, how do you expect to learn patience, become calmer, and have an appropriate response to the situations in your life if you don't put in the time for practice? To expect otherwise is simply crazy.
5. Love of practice: chances are if you love what you do, you'll have no problems maintaining it. Examine your definition of love to include the practices that are difficult, that force you out of your comfort zone, that ask of you to be a bigger person, that scare the shit out of you. Love the process of practice rather than the results of it. Read that last sentence again.
6. Commitment: don't be afraid of it. Or, if you're afraid of it, notice it, examine the why, and make a conscious choice to give it importance in your life. Recently I was talking with a bright sophomore in college who told me how he notices a glorification of lack of commitment among his peers. It's in our culture to window shop, to look for something else, to not stick with any one discipline. Why? Because we can. Ask yourself if it's serving you. Ask it often.
7. Perseverance: If the practice gets difficult, and if you're lucky it will, choose to practice showing up. Choose to practice consistency, commitment, and respect within your set boundaries and practice letting go of negative self-talk. Yes, things can be hard. What you've been working toward may feel really far away, while for others, the same thing comes rather effortlessly. No one said life is fair. Get over it, and, practice. We're all in this together. We all have our own set of grievances, our own limitations, our own strengths. Comparison may be inevitable, but it doesn't help anything. Also, if you slip up, keep coming back to it. It's not all or nothing.
8. Flexibility: Hopefully you know I'm not talking about putting your legs behind your head, rather, redefine practice and its boundaries. Be open to practicing when conditions are not perfect (they rarely are), be open to practicing when you don't feel at your best, be open to practicing when the world around you is falling apart. In fact, be open to practicing all the time. The time on the mat is play compared to all the non-controlled practices of your life. Enjoy the play! It's a luxury.
9. Respect: have respect for what you are learning, who you are learning it from, and the tradition that it comes from. Have respect for the time that you are spending in practice; don't waste it. For whatever reason, you may not have that time again tomorrow. Have respect for the people you are practicing with, near or far, and make it less about yourself and more about those who really need it. It doesn't have to be a verbal show of dedication. Quiet gestures go a long way. At least in the yoga practice, where we become attuned to energies, less talk is more.
10. Compassion: figure out the difference between compassion and self-indulgence. Compassion is kindness in thought and action, self-indulgence is to give in to negative patterns and repeat them. Example: to not practice when you have a fever is practicing compassion toward yourself and others around you; to beat yourself up for not practicing is to indulge patterns of self-flagellation that probably extend to other parts of your life.
11. Patience: to learn something new takes dedication and time. A big part of any practice is developing patience: plant the seeds and do not hover over them until they grow. Give it time. It goes hand in hand with enjoying the process rather than counting and picking the fruits before they ripen.
12. Sense of humor: when all else fails, laugh. When all else feels like a burden, feels like crumbling walls inside and out, feels like the world has turned against you, open your mouth and laugh a great big laugh as if you were mad. Let the sound be catharsis. Let your breath move in this new way. Laugh and move on. Feeling sorry for yourself is fun only for a short while; unstuck yourself as swiftly as possible, and get on with, you guessed it, practice!
Here's to a new year filled with enthusiastic, heart-felt, sincere, dedicated practice! Onward! (and don't be afraid to fall!)